Lenny Hawker
2004-10-02 14:14:12 UTC
Greetings to all,
I am posting to this group (through google pro tem) because it seemed
to produce the most appropriate answers to my requests in a google
groups search.
I would be grateful for any help. I am a 43 year old man applying to
university as a mature student through UCAS this year. I have wanted
to do a degree for many, many years. When I was 17 or 18 I was a
top-rated violinist in my local area and everybody assumed I would go
on to be some sort of orchestral musician. I, too, had my heart
somewhat set on that goal, but I found social life at school difficult
and became increasingly overwhelmed by a sense of despair. I guess a
lot of adolescents go through that sort of thing. You might want to
say I was "depressed." I don't know.
OK, enogh with the life story.
My music suffered. I didn't go to music college. My Dad told me I
should accept an offer of Maths at York while I still could. The year
was 1979. I took his advice. At Uni I became even more depressed and
bombed out in my finals. I am convinced this is because I didn't work,
not because I couldn't have done it ( I have looked at maths again and
now enjoy it and can do it, albeit slowly ), and I didn't work because
of my state of mind, not, I assure you, because I decided to have a
non-stop party. I'm not the partying type. The social stuff is what
freaked me out. It never occured to me that the best escape was just
to bury my head in the Maths and forget everthing and everyone else. I
always thought I could catch up. I remember spending straight weeks
just moping in my room not going out, even to lectures, iirc, or, if I
did go to lectures basically getting so far behind I couldn't get it
and couldn't seem to do any work either. After the finals, I tried to
work for re-sits, but my mind was so messed up I couldn't seem to
concentrate on anything. Really! Concentration just wasn't happening.
I couldn't. I'd never experienced that before. Most people don't
believe that, but it's true.
Now I am taking an Access course. What to do. Do I tell them I went to
uni for one year before or just leave it off the UCAS form altogether
( it was 29 years ago for cripes sake ) and hope that records don't go
back that far. Before you jump to conclusions remember that in 1979
the humble IBM PC had yet to be invented. Files were held in brown
folders on large shelving units. Computers were very expensive large
noisy boxes with their own rooms. Furthermore in around 1987 or so I
was actually advised by an "Educational adviser" that whilst I should
really make my case explaining what happened, etc., it was actually
very unlikely that the LEA (local education authority) would go back
and check that fart back regarding grants and loans.
I don't know what to do now because it would be very easy for me to
smudge over the missing year and construct a narrative of my life
about wanting to do a degree now and furthermore telling the Access
staff several weeks into the course that I was actually at uni before
would be, umm, more than a little embarassing.
I would be most grateful for any advice or thoughts especially about
whether UCAS could easily check that far back, or even more general
thoughts about what a fellow in my mixed up spot really ought to do.
"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." :(
best, Lenny
I am posting to this group (through google pro tem) because it seemed
to produce the most appropriate answers to my requests in a google
groups search.
I would be grateful for any help. I am a 43 year old man applying to
university as a mature student through UCAS this year. I have wanted
to do a degree for many, many years. When I was 17 or 18 I was a
top-rated violinist in my local area and everybody assumed I would go
on to be some sort of orchestral musician. I, too, had my heart
somewhat set on that goal, but I found social life at school difficult
and became increasingly overwhelmed by a sense of despair. I guess a
lot of adolescents go through that sort of thing. You might want to
say I was "depressed." I don't know.
OK, enogh with the life story.
My music suffered. I didn't go to music college. My Dad told me I
should accept an offer of Maths at York while I still could. The year
was 1979. I took his advice. At Uni I became even more depressed and
bombed out in my finals. I am convinced this is because I didn't work,
not because I couldn't have done it ( I have looked at maths again and
now enjoy it and can do it, albeit slowly ), and I didn't work because
of my state of mind, not, I assure you, because I decided to have a
non-stop party. I'm not the partying type. The social stuff is what
freaked me out. It never occured to me that the best escape was just
to bury my head in the Maths and forget everthing and everyone else. I
always thought I could catch up. I remember spending straight weeks
just moping in my room not going out, even to lectures, iirc, or, if I
did go to lectures basically getting so far behind I couldn't get it
and couldn't seem to do any work either. After the finals, I tried to
work for re-sits, but my mind was so messed up I couldn't seem to
concentrate on anything. Really! Concentration just wasn't happening.
I couldn't. I'd never experienced that before. Most people don't
believe that, but it's true.
Now I am taking an Access course. What to do. Do I tell them I went to
uni for one year before or just leave it off the UCAS form altogether
( it was 29 years ago for cripes sake ) and hope that records don't go
back that far. Before you jump to conclusions remember that in 1979
the humble IBM PC had yet to be invented. Files were held in brown
folders on large shelving units. Computers were very expensive large
noisy boxes with their own rooms. Furthermore in around 1987 or so I
was actually advised by an "Educational adviser" that whilst I should
really make my case explaining what happened, etc., it was actually
very unlikely that the LEA (local education authority) would go back
and check that fart back regarding grants and loans.
I don't know what to do now because it would be very easy for me to
smudge over the missing year and construct a narrative of my life
about wanting to do a degree now and furthermore telling the Access
staff several weeks into the course that I was actually at uni before
would be, umm, more than a little embarassing.
I would be most grateful for any advice or thoughts especially about
whether UCAS could easily check that far back, or even more general
thoughts about what a fellow in my mixed up spot really ought to do.
"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." :(
best, Lenny